Sunday, September 7, 2008

What happens when your kid shows tantrums in public?

Last night, daddy had a Chinese wedding dinner to attend in Taiping. Again being a family man, he always asks us whether we would like to go along. Mommy being the thrifty one (and some more on unpay leave)declined to attend the wedding dinner with him. This is to cut cost of having to pay double the amount for the wedding ANG POW gift.
(BTW, what's the ang pow rate nowadays per person when you attend a Chinese wedding dinner?)

Instead mommy agreed for all the 4 kids to tag along to Taiping Tesco to have dinner and shopping while waiting for daddy to finish his dinner at Taiping Lake Gardens. At Tesco, we all had bread and doughnuts instead of the usual rice and dishes for a change. It's easier for mommy to pack and go and let us eat as we shop in Tesco supermarket. The two little princesses were in the trolley while both the twin kor kor walked along with mommy.

When we arrived at the Yakults sample booth, all of us took a sample each. As we were moving away from the booth, Princess Juliana (4 yrs) insisted that mommy buy VITAGEN. Mommy hesitated because it would be a few hours more before we reach Ipoh and the drinks need to be refrigerated. After some whinning, mommy gave in and ask Juliana to go get the VITAGEN herself at the low shelf. She refused and continued to whine and started her tantrums. Then 2nd twin Dennis kor kor (9yrs) went and took a batch of 6 bottles VITAGEN for Juliana. Then guess what...Juliana refused to accept the VITAGEN and said she wanted Yakults vitagen. I guess to her VITAGEN means the cultured drink just like to us we all call the diapers as PAMPERS(due to it's famous brand name).

This time mommy began to loose her patience and warned her that if she continued to whine, mommy would walk away and leave her in the trolley. Meanwhile, mommy has secretly asked the kor kors to go change VITAGEN to YAKULTS for the fussy pot.

As mommy turned around, the kor kor and princess Jasmine (3yrs) (who had come down from trolley to follow the twins) were all out of sight. Mommy went to the cultured drink sign of them. At the same time, Juliana was still crying and kicking away with her tantrums in the trolley. Out of panic and anger, mommy slapped Juliana on her cheek. She asked the VITAGEN auntie whether she saw the trios, she said none. The panic and worry lasted a while until mommy saw the twins and Jasmine again, still holding the VITAGEN in their hands. They lost their way when trying to find the cultured drinks corner.

When mommy was very firm with Juliana and warned her that she will leave her alone and walk away, another shopper auntie saw the drama and told her own little daughter who was about Juliana's age that "may be she should do the same to her if she behaves like that next time". Mommy was so glad at least she has got one supporter instead of having the rest of the on lookers staring at her as if she was so mean to ignore and not trying to give in to that rascal's tantrums.

The reason mommy acted that way is because a friend from Australia has the same encounter and has shared with mommy the secret of tackling such situation from a Book she read.If mommy had given in one time to Juliana, the next time she would probably do the same and get away with what she wanted.

After the whole predicament, Juliana finally quiet down and tried to seek comfort in Dennis kor kor who played the good guy when mommy was the Bad one. Later mommy hugged Juliana and explained that she should not do that again. When asked to apologise to mommy, surprisingly Juliana humbly apologised and promised she wont show tantrums in supermarket again or else mommy will just leave her and walk off.

Mommy's friend's kid actually rolled on the supermarket floor showing tantrums during her encounter and mommy's friend just left her alone and walked off. Shortly after that she came back to her and picked her up and went home straight..teaching her a lesson that in future if that happens again, the whole family can't continue doing what they were doing (that was shopping and having family time) if she repeats showing tantrums in public again.

FoooH!!!Really a stressful and nerve cracking incident at the supermarket when I had to handle 4 of them without my hubby around.

Have you experience the same scenario of your kids showing tantrums in public? How did you handle the situation? You gave in or you showed that you are in control?


Creative B Bee said...

I will leave them crying and walk away and not turn bk. This case was happened before to me. My kid crying and chasing me at the back. I took them to toilet then ..heh heh now evertime during shopping if they make me angry i will tell them is the time I BRING them to toilet!!

GarGies said...

Isn't this scenario so normal and happens almost to any parent??

However, how one reacts to the tantrum is different. In my experience, when my eldest boy first showed his tantrum in the public, I said I would cane him when we were home. And true to my words, I gave him a good spanking, telling him exactly why I was caning him for.

The next time, when he wants to start to whine, I'll ask him if he wants caning again, he knows I'm serious. So, he dared not misbehave anymore, as Mom's words means BUSINESS!! haha..

Now, the younger ones, they somehow know I mean what I say too, and without trying, if I say NO the first time, they seldom nag anymore. I guess it all boils back to how you keep to your words. When I made a promise, I'll try to keep it, and when I give them a warning, if they still do not stop, then they'll get punished and not another warning. So, kids learn from young what's the limit is.

Btw, I really respect you for handling 4 out in public without hubby. Especially in shopping malls. I try to avoid that as much as possible, I'll pening kepala with these 3 out on my own.

Bengbeng said...

we shouldnt give in or it will set a precedent. thanks for yr birthday wishes :)

pc said...

good piece of note for mums.

i try to practise 'i mean what i say' on my girl. so, i wouldn't tell her mummy will walk away if she cranky. im too afraid to lost her. dont you afraid? best trick of mine which is effectively work is 'we go home now!' haa... thank goodness im sahm LOL.

as my last sharing (blog), i wait and wait and wait... fiercely :p. meanwhile thinking a way to show her i am not giving in to her demand.

situations like these often require mummy to be creative... hehehe...

thank goodness she said sorry:). yeah, you are amazing in handling 4of them in public without daddy. bravo to you!

Alicia said...

wah salute u bring 4kids out alone! yala sometimes very stress wif children ... usually my girl will make me pening but once she sees me walk away she will quickly come to us hehehe

Agnes Chan said...

true that we shouldnt give in even once coz they are testing on our limit... i read from the book too..

guess wat? i somehow foresee chloe will do that soon when she grow bigger... and im all prepare to "treat" her when this situation come...

but isn't kinda "malu" to do it in the public for the good sake of the kid??!!! sigh...

Blessed mum said...

Seen these type of tantrum throwing before..but glad none of my kids does that.

They knew that throwing tantrum will gain them nothing but scolding/ lecture from mommy.

and have to credit you for your bravery! Amazed that you can handle 4kids alone!

molly said...

I think most children throw tantrum when they were small. My sons use to do that when coming to toys section. What I did was gave him a toy that he wanted and hold it until just before we get out of the shopping centre. I would ask him to leave it at the place he took from.

Jacss said...

i think to an extend, every mom encountered kids' tantrum in public, the only difference is how they tackle it. for us, my boys did that quite often....sadly & unfortunately, both huby & I sometimes gave in & sometimes losses our patience by hitting them which was actually inconsistent, leading to the come back of the incident....sigh!! Thus, guess u r right, we need to be firm & consistent with our reaction so that they know the consequences!!
kudos to u for managing 4 alone, gosh!!