Friday, February 27, 2009

Goodbye in peace!

Daddy has finished his struggle at last. His heart stopped at about 6.25pm despite resuscitation & passed away peacefully last night 27 Feb 2009. We were all by his bedside till his last breath at 6.45pm.

Though it's painful for us but it's the end of sufferings for him now.

I sincerely wish to thank each and everyone of you out there for your kind words, concern & care for me & my family throughout the struggle.

I will stay strong for my dad, mum & my siblings.

Daddy dearest, goodbye with all our love.
You will always remain in our hearts because we all love you dearly!
Rest in peace! Need not worry, we will take care of mum.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm feeling helpless, hopeful yet afraid of losing him

It's raining outside, my heart is breaking recalling daddy's face in the hospital:
eyes closed, on ventilator tubing, drips here & there, needle marks everyway, blood stain due to bleeding frm his mouth(crack lips), urine bag, blood transfusion in progress, blood pressure monitor....worse still he is having fever today & Dr. said his blood result indicated that his liver also has some problem now (besides his kidney failure earlier).

All this happened so fast since December last year. Before that he was such an independent person, driving himself with mum for breakfast, lunch & for medical check ups independantly. Why suddenly he has low blood count..on and off short of breath, turn pale & lethargic? Till today doctor cannot determine why he is losing blood frm time to time. Not leukemia, not this not that...lastly they just suspect he has bone marrow problem which they can't do test at this critical stage to confirm.

However, daddy has jerky movements which are hyper reflexes due to his brain activity frm time to time when he is lying in bed. When I did suctioning(remove secretions from his mouth & nose) for him, he responded by bending his elbows, lifting his ankles & biting the mouth tubing. I really hope these are good signs. yet the fever & other morbids worry me. Doctor ttold generally his condition is not good.

A medium said if he can pass through this critical stage, he should be alright. According to Chinese Lunar he who was born in the Year of snake should have fine luck this year.

Deep down , I'm hopeful, yet I am afraid & are in a denial stage...also feeling helpless & sad to see him suffering.

Should I have tried saving him when his heart stopped at 10am last Sunday on the way to Hospital?

Dad can u actually here us whenever we whisper into your ears each time we visit you in the intensive care?

God, please let my dad pull through this stage & recover soon. I really miss his actions, miss his grumbling, miss the moments he plays with my kids...etc.

Di please wake up soon! We love you. Please don't leave us yet!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Daddy is stable ..but not responding yet.

I met the Specialist Dato C this morning. He told me that now with the medication & ventilatory support, daddy(Di)'s condition is stable, His blood pressure picked up (148/48 mmHg), blood haemoglobin frm 3.8 went up to 8, his potasium level also came down. However, he is fully on breathing support frm the machine & he didnt response to stimulation at all.

We kept talking to him by his ear side. Hopefully Di , u could hear us & wake up soon.

We prayed for him at the temple last night. Asked Buddha for his blessings.

Thank you to all of u who have been praying , too. Appreciate your kindness.
Will stay strong for Di & Mi.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Daddy , hang on & keep your fighting spirit, we pray for you.

My beloved daddy (our kids Ah Kong) is critically ill & ventilated in the high dependency unit at the general hospital yesterday.

He was not well & has been in & out hospital since last December.

First he was admitted for short or breath & irregular heart beat.
Pacemaker was done at Pantai private hospital.

Then he has low blood count. Reading was 4.
Blood transfusion was done.Reading went up to 12 when he was 1st discharge frm Pantai.

A month later same symptoms..pale , lethargic, poor appetite & losing weight but still could walk.
Admitted General Hospital.
Blood transfusion done. Blood under investigation.Was discharged as doctor couldnt find anything abnormal about his blood & treated him as Iron & Vit. B12 deficiency.

With the iron & B12, poor dad suffered frm constipation & doctor gave lactose(oily stuff to ease his bowel).

After taking that, he purged pulak. Not only diarrhoe, he has vomiting spell. That weaken him & finally he became pale & short of breath. Walking is laboured.

Yesterday mrning, while coming out frm the toilet, he suddenly weakened & collapsed. He had saliva discharge++ frm the right angle of his mouth, eyes glazed upwards & no response(blank look).
Mum called me. At that time I just finished making breakfast for my kids (while my hubby was having meeting outstation)

When i arrived at dad's place I immediately thgt he had a stroke. Though I;ve called the ambulance frm my house but upon seing his condition, I remembered that stroke has to be attended very urgently. Without much ado, I just grab him by the armpit & chest (I really didnt knw where i got my strength at that moment)& got my brother to carry his knees, put him into his car & drove to Pantai Hospital.

As the doctor was resuscitating him(giving CPR), I related to him what happened & about his condition (of course at that time I ignored the nurses who kept asking me to wait outside the emergency room). I thgt who was the better person if nt me to keep telling the dctor while he did his job attending to my dad. I'm sure that would have made it easier for the doctor to make investigations , run blood test immediately, treated his dehydration, correct his electrolite imbalance.
When I was carrying dad in the car, his eyes was opened & glazing upwards throughout the journey frm home until the traffic light near Pantai hospital. At the traffic light, he just shut his eyes & I heard no heartbeat.

Reaching the emergency, we rush him dwn & the the doctor did what I mentioned above. I was told dad's heart has stopped beating & the team had to shock him 6X to get back the pulse & blood pressure. The reading showed 89/30 mmHg . HR is regulated by his pacemaker about 69 bpm. He needed to breath with ventilatory support. Once he was stabilised at Pantai, we requested him to be transported to General Hospital as he is a government pensioner. Staying in Pantai with ventilatory support would cost about RM2K per day just for the machine (exclude other charges). When we settled the bill at Pantai just for the emergency treatment, the bill came out to be RM2,900. OMG , how could we afford the long term charges.!
That's the reason why I suggested him to be nursed & cared in GH with more specialist & staff & for him is almost free. At least we hope if he pulls through this critical stage & be consciuos again, we could save the financial part for his long term rehabilitation. Doctor told that his condition has poor recovery & he may be in vegetable stage even if he managed to wean off the ventilatory support. they have tried their best to pump in the 3 iontropes to help his whole system function.

We are not giving up, so "Di", pls hang on there!. We pray for you.We all love you very much!
We pray that if your time is up, God please take you without you having to suffer. If you are meant to live on to enjoy your grandkids & family, please let you recover functionally & not be in vegetable stage.

It was my dad's wish to go without suffering & has told us not to let doctor resuscitate him if his life is gonna depend on the ventilator to live in vege state. But how could we just let it be when his condition worsens?

Dear bloggers & readers, I hope all of you can help me pray for my beloved dad, too.

Thank you & God Bless!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Visited the Ang Ku shop again

I went back to the ANG Ku shop again to buy some variety of kueh & angku for some strokees to eat during one evening tea time.

This time the shop is not as pack as the previous visit during PAi Ti Kong.

In fact with no crowd, I managed to get more close up pics & even managed to capture the angku processing on a conveyor belt.

Take a look at these pics..I bet u will be drooling away.

1)Ang(red) Ku, che ku (green) and purple ku:

Other kueh also available are as follows:
wun cai ko (green & redbean)

lampau udang

kau chang ko (9 layer kueh)

egg tarts

kueh koci

chin tui

sweet potato crackers(purple & orange)

cucur udang

..and I must say the angku & other kuehs are dirt cheap compared to other shops in commercial areas. (50 to 60 cents per piece & quite huge piece, too)

Vegetarian dough (min kan)

This post is especially dedicated to my faraway 6th auntie in United Kingdom who has long waited for this recipe of making a vegetarian dough (called MIN KAN in Cantonese).

This vegetarian dough step by step instructions are courtesy of my 3rd auntie in Ipoh.

This is how you create the VEGETARIAN DOUGH (which u can later mould into Vegetarian Fish Ball, Char Siew, Chicken, etc)

Ingredients :
1 packet of Flour (preferably this brand:)


Method :
1. Pour flour into a container.

2. Make a well in the centre of the flour.


3. Add a bit of water and salt into flour.

4. Knead the dough. Gradually add a little water till
dough forms a 'lump'.

5. Keep kneading the dough till it forms into a 'paste'

6. Put the dough paste into a basin.

7. Slowly add in water to cover the rim of the dough paste.

8. Using your right hand fingers, rinse water onto the dough paste
(You should see traces of powdery flour sieving out from the dough
paste. The water turns chalky white)
9. Pour away the chalky white water. Add in clean water again.
10. Rinse the dough paste with clean water again.

11. Repeat few times until dough paste becomes smaller & smaller.

12. Feel the dough texture. The result is best when dough paste is
'stretchable' when pull.

13. Make into small lumpy pieces.
14. Get ready a pot of boiling water. Boil the small lumpy pieces.
15. Cook your desired dishes of vegetarian curry chicken using the
small lumpy pieces.

Friday, February 13, 2009

LOVE is in the AIR!

Nothing beats sharing your love & spreading love to the less fortunate people.

On Valentines' eve, I spent half an hour with a group of strokees (people who had stroke) in a National Stroke Association, making Valentine roses & card.

Besides trying to make them exercise their hands, my aim was to stimulate their Right brain & also give them a chance to learn how to appreciate their love ones (their spouses for those who still have) & express their love to them.

BTW, I'm also encouraging them to be environmental friendly because the container for the flowers is actually a milk powder scoop & we also used recycle new year cards for the hearts.

In the process of arranging the flowers, I can see many of them are quite stereotype & do not have much Right brain power.

None the less, all of them enjoyed the Valentine artcraft session. Thks to volunteer Mrs Pauline(daughter to 2 strokees) for generously contributing her time, effort & the material for the artwrk. I really appreciate her for being there with me despite having to look after both her parents who have stroke.

What touches my heart was a few of the male strokees actually put in great effort in decorating the Valentine Card & writing beautiful & sweet wrds to their wife. One of them is this Uncle S who travels all the way frm Batu Gajah (about 30 mins drive frm this centre). He joking said to me "I'm afraid after giving this card with loving message & these roses to my beloved wife, she may not be able to sleep tonight!

Another strokee who couldnt speak nor drive after his stroke has gained so much improvement just within 2 months, designed a card for his wife , too. Unfortunately, he couldnt spell his wife's name properly.

Earlier, hubby & I had the intention to do something special & more meaningful for Valentine rather than spending a bomb on candlelight dinner. So we had the idea of sponsoring two 3 yr olds (a boy & a girl) frm an Orphanage home just for half a day to spend time with them & with our own 4 kids. We were so disappointed when the home Manager did not allow this for whatever reason.

So both of us have decided to gather a few other couples & just take a break & have a simple dinner at a friend's cafe to support her tonight.

So what is your Valentine's plan for tonight?
Are you one who is willing to spend money on flowers & gifts to express your love? Or are you the typical one who say "Aiyah evryday oso can b Valentine's Day lah..why want to be victims to cut throat merchants for spending so much on roses on this particular Day?

Have fun & let's all feel love & give love! Those of you who dont celebrate..what the heck just have a great weekend.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Thaipusam parade, kids activities, housechores, chocolate puddings & more...

Since daddy is away outastation for golf with a group of friends frm Penang, mommy had to babysit the four of us alone today.

First she drove us out purposely to welcome the traffic jam in order to let us watch closely the Thaipusam parade & kavadi bearers (which is a sure No No if daddy is around because daddy hates crowded & jammed places). Then she sent us twins Daniel & Dennis to taekwando lessons & mei mei Jasmine to KinderBear music lesson at Susan cheh che's studio. Juliana didnt want to follow as she prefers to stay at home & sleep (emmm this girl really has her own character).

Back home, mommy vaccumed & washed her MPV & wiped the interior with antibacterial multi surface cleaner. After that she vaccum the carpets in the house & did all the laundry before picking us up for lunch.

We had lunch at this coffeeshop called YAT YAT SENG where one can find yummy Kai Si Hor Fun (stripped chicken kueh teow soup) which taste better than the commercialised Low Wong nga choy kai in town (where most tourists would go.)Susan cheh cheh was also there for thier famous Chicken rice that comes with free soup .

After lunch , mommy went round the neighbourhood to distribute the chocolate puddings that she made yesterday to our close friends.

Knock knock...daddy is home at last frm his golf! Yippeee it will be family time again tonight.
So what's cooking? Probably mommy's spaghetti our all time favourite..this time seafood spaghetti.
Then may be we will go for a cinema show (mommy won 3 tickets for Golden screen cinema show).
Having said all the above planned items, it will still be weather dependant.!

Have a GREAT WEEKEND everyone!

My little girl oso wanna blog at age3

I couldnt believe my ears when my 3 yr old Jasmine asking for my cameraphone & telling her 4 yr old cheh cheh Juliana to take her pics..for what???

Jasmine: Cheh wait ah I ask mommy for her camera first ah..the u take photos for me.

Jasmine : Mommy may i borrow your camera ?

Mommy: Why?

Jasmine: I want cheh cheh to take my pictures....I want to put in my blog.

Mommy (dumbfounded): Your blog? You have a blog meh?

Jasmine : Yes...let me show you.(pointing at her personal laptop)

Gosh ..i didnt knw that my blogging passion & interest had creeped into her.

Mommy: Daddy , maybe I should start teaching her to blog hoh? Let her blog her own diary.
Daddy: No lah..she is still too young
(but in mommy's heart I believe Jasmine will surely be able to do it if we really put our hearts to teach her...oni fear is that she may accidentally remove some computer data for us..HahHA!)

picnic & kite flying at Polo ground

Post dated event: 7 Feb 09

Mommy made us sardine sandwiches (club toasts) to take to Polo ground for picnic. We also brought along the Tiger shark kite to fly at Polo ground on this windy morning.
Not forgetting some boxes of POP POP too (mini bullet pops )to have some fun in the park.

We had some problem getting the kite up as it is a giant kite & by the time we reach the park the wind has calm dwn & the sun was getting hotter.

Anyway we did had some family time & fun to enjoy together before we proceed to lunch.

Feb 8, 09 Thaipusam Celebration in Ipoh

Today is Thaipusam Public Holiday for our Perak state & some other states in the country.

Whenever there's crowd due to any celebration, daddy would sure avoid the crown or traffic jam. Not for mommy , though. This is the first time mommy welcomes traffic jam or slow dwn in traffic in order for us to get a chance to view Indian uncles carry kavadis during today's Thaipusam procession.

Mommy actually followed the slow moving cars in order to catch a closer glimpse at these people & take pictures frm her camera phone as she was driving.

Take a look:

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Ang Ku Wholesaler in Ipoh

That evening before PAi Ti Kong, I went to an Ang Ku wholesaler with my auntie.

This is what we saw in that crowded shop that makes ang ku in bulk.

Apparently, most of the ang ku in trays were already pre-ordered. Since auntie only wanted to buy a few..they have enough to spare us.

There was a machine to make the greenpea paste & another that mix the ang ku dough.

Emmm indeed very eye opening for a first timer like me to visit this shop.

Besides Ang Ku, they also have these kuehs for the offerings during pai ti kong: